My Art

I've been bad. I've been a slacker. I've been scared and lazy and maybe even a bit stupid. I haven't finished any personal art since I graduated from MATC. That makes me feel bad about myself. I have so many ideas for art, but I never do anything about it. Then a recent acquaintance posted this on Facebook.

"I sometimes do not do certain things, or draw certain pictures because i am afraid they won't turn out like they have in mind. I want to keep them for myself or think that they might be ruined if I let them be known."

I was floored. I felt like the song, "Killing Me Softly." I just kept staring at that line. That is exactly how I feel, but I never vocalized it to a single soul. And that has been rattling around in my mind ever since I read it. This has lead me to realize that it's silly to do nothing just because I'm scared. If I never did the things that scared me, I would never have accomplished the things I am most proud of. I need to let go and just do it. My art is so personal to me, it scares me to put it out there for people to judge. I would feel like they are judging my most personal feelings. It's very scary. Yet, when I did make a piece of art that was extremely personal, I ended up getting that piece into the Lakefront Festival of the Arts. So why am I so scared!?

Today, I've made up my mind. At least one night a week I WILL work on my art. Not just sketching ideas or brainstorming. Actually putting paint to canvas, or light to film. Actually creating a body of work that I can try to show. I'm done talking. I'm going to do. Thanks Jenny.